Using Guilt as an Opportunity to Increase Mindfulness

Whether you're a seasoned or developing meditator, you have probably encountered that oh-so-familiar guilty feeling when you have not taken time in your day to meditate. It's not uncommon for our Ego to thwart our attempts at finding true inner peace, and guilt can be one of those ways. What better way than to cast doubt and guilt at our efforts and abilities?

When we don't meditate as we've planned and do something else, we may end up feeling guilty. This of course doesn't only apply to a meditation practice, but to other aspects of our lives. “I should have completed the project today” and “What's wrong with me for not doing the laundry today?” are sure signs that guilt is finding it's way in your body.

Is there always something wrong with guilt? Not necessarily, but there are times when it's presence in the body only serves to bring us backward. Guilt carries with with it a deadening kind of energy and often times, it is not justifiable guilt—as in the examples above.

I was experiencing this today when I realized that in the moment of allowing the negative thoughts and the guilt to grow in my body that I was loosing presence.

I was becoming unconscious.

I observed the feeling of guilt taking away my attention to the present moment. It dawned on me that instead of allowing the guilt to take over and add soil to more non-productive thoughts, I could choose to be present. The moment I had this realization, I found the emotion almost immediately vanish and I felt more centered.

I believe this happened for at least four reasons:

1. I was not loosing unconscious to the emotion and the thoughts that were giving it life;

2. I took the position of the observer,

3. I chose not to be controlled by those emotions/thoughts anymore, and

4. I welcomed presence and unconditional acceptance for myself.

In order for any of these things to occur, I had to first become aware of the experience. In such a moment, I welcomed mindfulness and presence into my body; it became a spiritual practice.

My point is perhaps simple:
If we lapse in our practice--or other task we haven't completed for that matter--it is important for us to maintain compassion for ourselves. If we stray and find ourselves feeling guilty or complaining, we should take a moment to pay attention to that.

Paying attention to when those Ego-driven tendencies are making aims at sabotaging our efforts can be challenging, but very fruitful. We can use it as an opportunity to bring awareness into our bodies, to follow our breath, and to engage more fully in what we are doing in that moment. Otherwise we allow the enticing feelings of guilt to grow, which can serve as a vehicle toward negative judgment of the self. Not exactly a friend in a path toward fulfillment.

Has anyone had this kind of experience before? Anyone try the latter approach I mentioned? Please share your insights.